Back On The Road

A grin crept over my face as I waited in the Immigration line at Suvarnabhumi Airport.  I was moments away from official entry into Thailand.  It had been a long flight (9 hours) and by all accounts I should have felt more exhausted (it was midnight AEST).

As soon as I got to my hotel, I dumped my bags and ran outside to the nearest 7-11.  7-11s play a fair part in everyday life here since they're everywhere, and they're actually good.  I poured myself a cup of chaayen (Thai iced milk tea) and with the first slurp felt the familiarity of home.

When I return to a country I haven't been to for a while, it feels as if I never left.  Even more than that, it feels like I was never in the country I'd just left, like perhaps it had all been a dream.  I've never understood why I feel this way, but it was the same this time around, too.

The feeling intensified the next morning when I flew to Ubon Ratchathani and my friends picked me up from the airport.  I sat on the back of my friend's motorbike - no helmet, the wind whipping past, just like usual - as a buried thought revealed itself: I'm not done with this place.  This was followed, quite logically, by: Why did I leave?  And even after some soul-searching, I still only found the same dual-argument dilemma I faced when I left.  There are good reasons - there is no doubt of that.  But how well do those reasons stack up against their counterparts?  Over a year later, I still don't know.

It's important for me to clarify: This does not mean I regret the past year in Australia.  In fact, I think it was really important for my journey.  But something I could admit even when I was in Australia is that I feel a bit more free in my lives overseas.  This isn't directly related to any external factors, as far as I can tell; I simply get a kick out of being on the road.  It's not just any road, it's my road.

And it feels good to be back on it.