Goodbyes

Time is a fickle thing. One and a half long years ago I was saying goodbye to my students, friends, and life in Japan.  Since then, I feel like I've accomplished a lot.  I've travelled Southeast Asia, spent some quality time in Australia, and worked two semesters in Thailand.  But earlier this month, when it came time to say goodbye again, suddenly those eighteen months were all too short, and the pain of leaving still all too fresh.  I steeled myself to my decision, questioning it the whole way, but there comes a point where you just have to trust in your decision-making.  Trust that what you're doing is for the best - even when it feels horrible.

And yet that, I believe, is the beauty of life.  What incentive would we have to enjoy every single moment if they lasted forever?

Despite the enormous problems in my workplace, I unearthed a pool of love.  Although I would have lunch with my three 'Thai mothers', half a dozen more teachers thought of me as their son.  And I formed a close bond with my students in my second semester, one that grew and blossomed as the days ticked away.  To be surrounded by that was truly something special.  There's no doubt it changed me.

It meant so much when the grade 3 teachers threw me an official goodbye party.  While this is normal for Thai teachers, I'm the only foreign teacher at my school to yet receive the honour.  Thais are infamous for giving gifts, and this served as a strong example.

We sang karaoke and gorged on food because it was free (work was paying).  The assistant director came too (perhaps to make sure the bill didn't get out of control!).

And then there was my goodbye ceremony...

At first I thought the teachers were just giving me an hour with the students to say our goodbyes, but they went to quite a lot of effort and it became a formal ceremony.  When I saw all my students arrive to see me off, I had to fight back tears.

One girl, nicknamed Ice, did a goodbye speech for me in English.  I'd selected her for a previous speech competition, despite being advised to select other students, so it meant a lot that they chose her for this.  They knew I believe in her.

She spoke about how all the grade 3s had had so much fun with me and that they'd miss me a lot.  She looked me in the eye and delivered it flawlessly.  After she finished she grinned broadly, because she could see the look on my face.  She could see again just how proud of her I was.

It breaks my heart when I think about what I'm leaving behind, but I also know that this last year has been totally worth it.

And I'm excited about what the next chapter will bring.