"I'm not done with this place."
Bow and I
"Why did I leave?"
My Thai mums
The night before I left Ubon in 2012, I was invited by a student's family to their noodle shop. My little grade three student, Frame, was so happy that she took this photo and set it as her phone background. Her family made for me one of the best bowls of noodles I've had in my life, and didn't let me pay for it. It was their way of saying "thank you".
In March, they invited me back. 15 months had passed since my last visit, but it was like the clock had been turned back. On the brink of leaving Ubon again, they served me some of the best noodles I've ever had - and they were just as good as the first time. There was only one difference...
Frame sure has grown, huh?
As time passes in Ubon without me, more and more will change and become unfamiliar. My life in Ubon will grow more distant, memories will grow more distant, and that will change all of us.
"I'm not done with this place."
Dayrest, Debbie and I
Me and Bow
It was with a heavy heart that I returned to Ubon Ratchathani Airport. Reliable as always, my Filipino friends sent me off. I don't know what I did to deserve such great friends. I said my last goodbyes and made my promises that I would see them again someday...
I stayed in the same hotel in Bangkok as my first night. It was the perfect bookend for my trip. Just as I had then, I sat down with a cup of chaayen and reflected on where I was. This time, my trip was behind me. The excitement I had felt, the anticipation of seeing my friends, was gone, replaced by the sadness of goodbyes.
"God I love this place..."
Perhaps it's cruel that in our lives we endure so many goodbyes. There's no understating their difficulty at times, but without limited time with the people we love, our lives are squandered and their meaning robbed. It meant so much that I could revisit my friends in Ubon because it was a rare and special opportunity. Things will change again before the next time - I know that. Change is the nature and beauty of our existence. Change is what allows us to grow stronger, to learn, to renew ourselves with fresh experiences.
I'll probably never be done with Thailand, but maybe this is why I left...
Still, I felt so connected to Thailand on that final night that I didn't want to leave. Ten days had filled me with laughter and adventure, and rekindled memories of a life I had loved. A life in which I found peace within myself. I didn't want to let it all go.
But as I sat there in the quiet of my hotel room, drinking the last of my chaayen, I knew that it was already slipping away.
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